So here’s a feel-good head-slapper for you: Gary MacDonald, 60, wakes up at 5:20am, checks his email, and sees that vague, shady little subject line: “Good news about your ticket.” Naturally, he thinks, “Cool, maybe I won £35.” Spoiler: he did—and also another tiny amount of £5.2 million. No big deal.

Like any rational adult, Gary then spent two and a half hours pacing around like a caffeinated meerkat, waiting for The National Lottery phone lines to open at 8am. Why? Because apparently becoming a millionaire doesn’t come with a direct line to common sense or a personal assistant.

His partner, Anita, thought the email said £5,000. Gary, in full British understatement mode, replied, “No love, it’s more than that.” (Translation: “WE ARE FILTHY RICH AND YOU’RE STILL IN YOUR SLIPPERS.”)

And what did they do next? Book a private island? Buy a Ferrari shaped like Lewis Hamilton? Nah. They bought a new vacuum cleaner—after shopping around for a good deal. Because Gary and Anita aren’t flashy. They’re “down-to-earth,” which here apparently means “rich but still triggered by overpriced Dyson attachments.”

The Post-Win Life Plan 3ku2

• Finally get married (yes, the win upgraded the wedding from “registry office and a buffet” to “actual party with chairs”).
• Buy a new house with a bigger garden and more bedrooms to fit all the people now pretending they were close all along.
• Follow Formula 1 around the globe like two wealthy petrolhead teenagers on honeymoon.

Gary its the whole thing feels surreal. He’s spent most of his life working, helping others, and putting hobbies on hold. Now he’s talking about trying lawn bowls. Lawn bowls. Because when you suddenly have millions and all the time in the world, apparently you pivot from paying bills to googling “sedate British sports played by retirees.”

But honestly? Good on them. They didn’t turn into cartoon millionaires overnight. They’re still just two people, slightly overwhelmed, trying to figure out how to live a little—without losing who they are.

And maybe with a very clean carpet.