Because nothing says "I love you" like flipping fate the bird and winning the lottery together. y512x

So there’s this couple in Auburn Hills, Michigan — let’s call them the Luckiest Married People Alive™ — who just celebrated their wedding anniversary in the most unrelatable way possible: by winning two million freaking dollars on a scratch-off ticket.

Moral of the story? Clean your damn drawers. 1d21x

You know that junk drawer you swear you’ll organize every weekend but instead keep stuffing with rubber bands, expired coupons, and old batteries? Yeah, well, one New Jersey couple just found a million-dollar lottery ticket in theirs. No metaphor. A literal, actual, government-certified, life-changing $1 million Mega Millions winner — just chilling between paperclips and who-knows-what for five months.

So here’s a feel-good head-slapper for you: Gary MacDonald, 60, wakes up at 5:20am, checks his email, and sees that vague, shady little subject line: “Good news about your ticket.” Naturally, he thinks, “Cool, maybe I won £35.” Spoiler: he did—and also another tiny amount of £5.2 million. No big deal.

Alright, let’s talk about the kind of moment that makes you question reality — or at least your morals at the gas station counter.

Some poor soul in New Jersey walks into a convenience store to buy scratch-offs (because the stock market is too slow) and spots a rogue $100 bill on the counter. Now, most people would quietly thank the universe, pocket it, and pretend they didn’t see anything. But not this guy. Nope. Our accidental saint turns around, asks the crowd if anyone lost it, and insists the clerk put it in an envelope for the "lost and found" — because apparently, that's still a thing outside of middle school.

So here’s a story about marriage, money, and mildly competitive revenge.

Meet E. Withers, a regular dude from Arkansas who probably thought his biggest win in life was his wife — until she rubbed her $50 lottery win in his face. Naturally, Withers did what any husband with an ego and $10 would do: he went out the next day and bought the same scratch-off ticket, probably thinking, "If she can win $50, maybe I can buy a Coke and a Slim Jim with whatever I win."

You ever feel like the universe just has favorites?

Well, let me introduce you to an anonymous nurse from Maryland who apparently made some kind of backroom deal with the gods of statistical improbability. Because for the third time — yeah, third — she’s won a lottery prize in April. Not just any prize either. Her wins are actually escalating, like some kind of ridiculous slot machine anime power-up sequence.​

You know that junk drawer you have? Yeah, the one filled with dead batteries, random screws, expired coupons, and keys to things you don't even own anymore? Well, turns out, sometimes it's not just a monument to procrastination — sometimes it’s a hidden gold mine.